WWWT
by Every1's Beta
Summary: What's wrong with Twilight? These are just some of the few things I noticed about Twilight that are... questionable at best. No FLAMES... the title tells you what this story is about.
1. Plot

**Disclaimer: Why would I be writing a spoof on Twilight if it belonged to me, Obviously that means it's Stephanie Meyer's, here is my What's Wrong With Twilight.**

Human girl falls in love with Vampire... were have I heard that before... Oh yeah, Vampire Diaries, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Obviously this means that Stephanie Meyer is not very original.

She placed herself in the story. Bella Swan.

She even made herself a Mary-Sue. Breaking Dawn.

She made her vampires, sparkle for God's Sake.

She decided to make her story so overly happy it made me physically ill to my stomach.

Her best characters in the entire story were 1. Evil stick figures (Felix) 2. Psychotic blood crazed sparkle-pyres (Jasper) 3. Little Freak-Out Girls with personality disorders (Alice)

This Story promotes Zoophilia/Beastiality. (Jacob and the Wolf Pack + the Imprintees)

Massively has issues with Pedophilia. (Edward + Bella, Jacob + Renesmee, Carlisle + Esme, Jasper + Alice) Need I go on?

This story also promotes Necrophilia. (All of the Vampires are technically dead, In Breaking Dawn, Bella has Sex with Edward while Human. Human + Dead = Necrophilia.

**I do not want any flames with this story, simply because my summary told people, that this is not a happy fluffy Twilight-Fic.**


	2. Movie

**Disclaimer: Don't Own. Just making fun of it...Again. Also I don't own Buffy/Vampire Diaries, but I'm not making fun of them...yet.**

_**Shoutout Time! Lil Artest, you are the coolest person reading this, you actually reviewed... and for that I thank you, here's a cookie.**_

Okay, we left off with necrophilia... where can I possibly go with that... Ah. There we go. Last time I only made fun of the plot...this time I will make fun of the Movie.

Did anyone besides me notice that Tyler was BLACK! I am not a racist, it just shocked when they added a black Tyler, and the Asian couple that looked like brother and sister. These are facts.

Why did Emmett eat food in the movie, if you don't believe me, go watch the movie w/commentary and watch the cafeteria scenes.

Why the Hell did Rosalie have a mole. The chick playing her had the character perfect. But the mole COMPLETELY destroyed any chance of beauty... she doesn't even have a mole in real life...WTF!

Emmett waves knives at people! Freddy in the making, folks... Emmett's gonna get'cha! Think of the Freddy Kruger Song... Now replace Freddy with Emmett, sound bad?

Now to the most unwashed, disgusting British man/sparkle-pyre in existence... Ladies and Gents, Edward Cullen/Robert Pattinson. He does NOT bathe, very often...if at all. And this is directly from a magazine comment, and I quote "Rob does not have bad days on the set...he just doesn't like to bathe before/after shooting." _(-Time Magazine)_

Taylor Lautner talks like a little sick nerdy kid... pinch your nose shut and say this, (out loud, obviously). "Bella, I'm not...good"

Now it is time for Bella/Kristen Stewart...What isn't wrong with her. Nuff said.

**If anyone wants me to write/criticize/or make fun of anyone else. There is a poll on my Profile. The poll will close in one week. I desperately need reviewers... Please.**


	3. Book

**Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't bother trying to sue me. You will get nothing of value...Unless you like Shirts with Profane sayings...and Grand Theft Auto.**

Last time I trashed Twilight's Movies... This time I am trashing the Books.

Stephanie is possibly racist, she never mentions anyone's features unless they are her gastly sparkle-pyres.

She likes to kill animals... No one cares about Deer. But She tries to put *Lions and Tigers and Bears (Oh My)*

She makes Bella reject Jacob...Bitch.

Jacob confesses his undying love for Bella, then goes and Imprints on her daughter... WTF! (Cough, Pedophile, Cough) She's been alive for all of 5 minutes and he already loves her...Right.

She keeps trying to turn the poor heartbroken female wolf-thing (Leah) out to be a callous bitch/antagonist (Bad guy)

She destroys any hope for love with Leah, because Jacob imprints on "Nessie"

She nick-named her characters with retarded names... Jazz, Em, and the Loch Ness monster! God woman! Show some creativity F***!

She made the big bad Volturi run away with their tales in between their legs... Come ON! You get everybody all psyched up for a fight and then you pull that crap on us... (again), WTF woman!

***Don't own Wizard of Oz. Just to let everyone know this story will not be going more than ten chapters...maybe. It all depends on if I get any reviews, and we can't forget the poll. BTW any reviewers who don't have a account, cast your vote when you review...otherwise I can't continue.**


	4. Carlisle

**Well... since my poll was voted with such mixed feelings... A three way tie I might add... I am posting chapters of the School crowd, Charlie, and Carlisle, all in one night... Lucky you guys.**

**Disclaimer: Am I stephanie Meyer? If you think I am, than you need serious mental assistance. Do I own the Twilight Saga? I own all four of the books if that helps, (Where else would I get my information?)**

Carlisle

He is alone for over two-hundred years, and the first person he changes to be like him, is...No, not a woman, he takes a little 17 year old, little emo-vampire...Edward.

He bought an Island for his wife... Thanks for setting the bar so high...deusch.

His place of total happiness...is a hospital. WTF! Everyone in their right mind hates being in hospitals... and yet, Carlisle loves it!

He runs around preaching about how they will have an afterlife... The Undead are exactly that...Undead.

He was obviously molded after a guy Meyer had a crush on in high-school.

He is the first ever male Mary-Sue.

He wasn't even important enough to have his own favourite animal food.

His dad was a preacher... a preacher who was probably closer to the devil than every single member of the Volturi... put together. Back to my main point, think of those awkward dinner conversations.(Please enjoy this little skit.)

"Hey dad, did you kill anymore innocent victims today?"-Carlisle

"Oh hello there, Son did you go and suck the life out of any farm animals today?"- Carlisle's father

"Touche."-Carlisle.

**Sorry guys...Carlisle was probably the hardest character to poke fun at in the entire book. (Hence the skit) Anyways, a new poll will be up soon.**


	5. Charlie

**Disclaimer: (Insert witty comment) Don't own. Don't sue. Thanks.**

Charlie

He is everyone's favorite Rent-A-Cop, (Next to Paul Blart)*******Don't Own!*******

He is somehow completely okay with his daughter popping out a grand-kid, less than two months after her wedding... Threatens his daughter wordlessly, when he believes said grandchild isn't getting fed enough.

He's like fifty-something and can't cook more than scrambled eggs and toast.

He's tries to have sex talks... And fails more horribly than my parents did.

He supports team Jacob, and yet, doesn't have any clue (until Breaking Dawn) said team supports werewolves.

He hates Edward...Yet worships Alice. Flaky.

He loathes Edward...Yet worships the ground where Carlisle walks.

He loves Edward after Christmas in Breaking Dawn...All because of a Fishing Sonar System. Very Flaky.

**Once again...Charlie was almost as hard to poke fun at as Carlisle. Poll is up. Anonymous reviewers, vote as a review.**


	6. The School Kids

**Disclaimer: Yet again... I am not Stephanie Meyer. Now, its time to make fun of the "Lunchroom Crowd"...I am breaking it into sub-sections.**

The School Kids

_Angela_

None of them have houses except for Angela.

Angela is the only person who stays loyal to Bella...yet doesn't try to help her in New Moon.

She was Asian in the movie... I don't think anyone expected that.

She likes men shorter than her...And yet she still dates the school DK...Eric.

_Mike_

He wants in Bella's pants within the first five seconds in the movie.

He's a senior who gets dissed, multiple times by a sophomore/werewolf-thing. (New Moon)

He looks GAY in the movie...seriously, he looks like a total mama's boy.

He tries to get Bella to go out with him when it is completely obvious that she is dating stalker vampire Boyfriend...(Eclipse)... Or "Not Dating" stalker/creepy werewolf-thing...(New Moon)

_Laurin_

She is probably modeled after someone who bullied SM in high school.

She only has one line in the entire series... its "Oh joy, Bella's back."

She wasn't even mentioned in the movie. :-(

She starts an Anti-Bella club, (Now requesting members), the only people not in said club at the school are Angela, Ben, and Mike.

_Ben_

He likes poorly plotted Kung-Fu movies (MORRRRTAL KOMBAAAAT!)

*******Don't Own*******

The only reason he dates Angela is because Edward and Emmett set them up. (Read Midnight Sun spoilers).

He wasn't mentioned in the movie.

He is going to die a virgin...Considering the fact (in the movie) his girlfriend is dating the ultimate DK.

_Eric_

He is probably modeled after Neil from Family Guy (Bella is Meg...obviously).*******Don't Own Family Guy...yet.*******

His theme song is Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne.*******Don't Own...Thank god.*******

In the movie he is deathly afraid of soap.

Is it really that surprising he ended Valedictorian, I mean c'mon, he's Asian...of course he's smart. (If any Asian's reading this, and take offense, Sorry.)

_Jessica_

Like Bella before her, did anyone else want to strangle her?

I gave her a codename _'Dandruff, because you flake like no other...Bitch.'_ *******My sister owns this quote...not me*******

She dissed Bella in the movie...YAY! And she watched Bella go into freakout mode, and sort of sat back and watched it laughingly.

She flops back and forth in the books. (Bella, Laurin, Bella, Laurin...Graduation party invite...BELLA!), Like I said, flaky.

**What did you guys think? The new poll is up... And if anyone is wondering... The pack is not eligible right now, because I decide to save them for later. This poll closes Friday.**


	7. Rosalie

**Disclaimer: Fine... I admit it...I am Stephanie Meyer...and I do own the Twilight Saga...You all caught me...dang. Now... for those of you that are actually thinking that I am SM... please stay off of the streets... Why on earth would SM write FANfiction... key word... you get one guess, and no it is not FICTION... This story is FAN made.**

**Well WWWT continues...and the 4 voters voted Rosalie three times...she won...so on with the show.**

_**Rosalie**_

She doesn't have a personality...until her story in Eclipse. All we know about her is she is ungodly beautiful with a perfect figure, long blond hair, and a very beautiful wind chyme voice...

She never tells anyone what she did with the dress she wore when she killed Royce King II (I personally stayed awake after reading her story... And I still drew a blank about where the dress could be)

Nikki Reed is an incredibly hot actress...and they made her where a HUGE mole in Twilight and New Moon... (They gave her a smaller one in Eclipse) I understand they were trying to pull off the whole Marylin Monroe thing, but...Nikki couldn't pull that off.

They never say if her and Jacob can finally tolerate one another...

There was never a fight between the aforementioned were-wolf/shape-shifter thing and the perfect blond psychopath.

SM made Jacob quit the blond jokes. (C'mon you know they were funny)

Rosalie is the only woman who wants to look older.

She was out hunting... found Emmett did not get to eat a deer or anything... Emmett was bleeding, and yet Rosalie resisted the yummy red liquid... PLOT HOLE ALERT.

PLOT HOLE ALERT... When Rosalie killed the aforementioned Royce King... How did she not spill ANY blood... If she broke his ribs, he would have coughed up blood. If she broke his neck, it would not have been slow enough for her plans. Anyone else confused?

I want to know how many houses the Young ex-newborn couple of Rosalie and Emmett smashed.

**The new poll is up... 3 votes a piece... please use them all...and just to let you all know... our three main characters (Bella, Edward, and Jacob) will be my final three chapters.**

**Anonymous reviewers... I am trying to be fair and let you guys get your opinions heard... and yet NONE of you ever REVIEW... Come on people... I am begging you (Sad puppy-dog eyes), see, you guys made me do the eyes.**

**And if anyone is wondering why my stories take so long to update... I found a really entertaining game on the internet... it is called_ Earth Eternal _for anyone that cares... and it is a _FREE_ game...all you have to do is the basic download... it entertains me...alot.**

**Now if you sat through all of that here is your reward... this story will be updated every wednesday between 1-4PM my time... Fans of Partners of the Heart... that story will be updated whenever I get any ideas...sorry Arya the Forensic one.**


	8. The Witch Twins

**Disclaimer: I am once again having to say that I am NOT SM and I will never own The Twilight Saga, if I did Bella would have become a vampire in Twilight, Nessie never would have existed, and Leah and Jacob would have become a pairing...In my version it would have never had the success that SM's had, so...NO I am not SM.**

**Well, I had mixed feelings for the poll...Alice and Jasper tied for second, and they were only one vote behind Jane and Alec...**

Jane

She spends all of her time locked in a tower, only leaving when she is told...whipped.

She has massive anger issues.

She is sadistic to no end...smiling while torturing people...Creepy. Funny, but creepy.

Her big gift is nothing more than a version of the evil-eye, the only difference is that her "gift" actually makes people fear that look.

Dakota Fanning tries to play her...Need I continue?

Jane AND Alec

I think SM designed them to be like Yin and Yang, both powers are evil, but they also opposite one another...AKA Jane gives pain, Alec neutralizes all feeling.

Alec

I personally was begging for a back-story with Alec, all SM says about him is that he looks like Jane, just not as perfect, his face is not as round, and his lips are not as plump...WTF! All SM cares about are her disgusting Mary-Sues and their BOYTOYS...that's right I said it...Edward, and Jacob are tools...Actually that is a lie. She also pays acute attention to detail when it comes to the rest of the Cullen family.

He has too much control, if he was a little more reckless, Alec could have been one of the best characters in the book, (My opinion) if SM wrote a back-story for the Volturi,(or even went into description of where they came from) then maybe people would have liked the ending to BD a whole lot more.

He only has like four lines, and they are as follows.

"Jane"

"They send you out for one and you come back with two...and a half."

Wow... I could only find two lines for him...even more sad than Demetri...he has ten lines in one chapter.

The guy who plays Alec looks like one of the Jonas Brothers, I laughed till I cried when I saw that...Someone in the theater walked out after Alec got on screen, but before they left they shouted...AND I QUOTE, "A F****** Jonas Brother has just destroyed what little hope these movies had." I almost choked on the soda, it was that funny.

**Sorry guys, I know I promised every chapter for WWWT would be up Wednesday, but I have a legit excuse, My Internet Service was cut-off...I just love Cable One...Don't you?**

**Well anyways, you guys know the drill... three votes a piece, please use them all... Anonymous people, vote as a review...check the poll first that way you know who is on the "chopping block"...sorry I just watched Big Brother.**


	9. Alice

**Disclaimer: I am not, nor do I want to be Stephanie Meyer, It is more fun finding unique ways to poke fun at the book, than actually being the author of said book.**

**My four voters left me with a two way tie...Alice and Jasper...**

Alice

She has no issue with Grand Theft Auto.(New Moon)

She steals more than 4 times in one book...(New Moon)

She cheats every single time a birthday, or anniversary come up...(Midnight Sun Spoilers)

She is completly willing to change Bella...Than backs out at the end of New Moon...(Who knew Vampires flaked a little)

If Jasper has one dirty thought, that he plans on capitalizing on, Alice would know IMMEDIATELY.(There went that surprise)

I wonder if she ever set up a psychic seminar...(People would come from all over the world just to see her.)

She technically is breaking the law every single time she plays POWERBALL...(Its rigged we all know it)

She only likes Bella because she forsaw that she would like her...(In the book sentance *Don't worry Bella and I will be great friends, _Twilight Movie..._ * Jasper, please don't kill Bella Swan, She's my friend...or at least she will be. _Midnight Sun Spoilers._

**Well Jasper and Alice won with 2 votes each...so...they were both posted today...lucky you guys.**


	10. Jasper

**Disclaimer: I have one thing Meyer will NEVER have... a Y chromesome, obviously that means i am a male...and not SM.**

Jasper

His nickname is JAZZ...Really?

He freaks out over a pint of blood...if you want to give him the best Christmas gift ever, Show him a Blood Bank after hours.

Jasper can feel everyones emotions...So what would have happend if he and Alice had been involved in a...cold steamless night together,(yea... they can't have a hot, steamy night with their body temps...but hopefully you get the point) what would have happend if Alice had not been into that time? Here is another skit for your reading pleasure...

"Alice, what the HELL?"-Jasper,

"What?"-Alice,

"Don't play innocent, you are not even interested in me tonight!"-Jasper,

"Damn...I should have seen your complaining."-Alice,

"Yeah, if you weren't in the mood you could have told me."-Jasper,

"Well, to say that I am not in the mood is incorrect,"-Alice,

"Liar! I can feel your emotions...REMEMBER?"-Jasper,

"I am in the mood...just not with you."-Alice,

"What!"-Jasper,

"Sorry, Jacob has like, a ten pack...and Felix is RIPPED!"-Alice,

"Oh it is on!"-Jasper,

"What? Are you jealous?"-Alice,

**(This Skit has two endings... both will follow shortly)**

"What...Of COURSE I am jealous of them! I mean look at me...scrawny little pasty cakes that i am."-Jasper,

"God, what did i ever see in you?"-Alice,

~Jasper runs away in tearless sobs~

**(Ending TWO)**

"That is it!"-Jasper,

"Where the hell are you going now?"-Alice,

"I am going to find your fantasies...And kill them both."-Jasper

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"-Alice,

~Jasper stalks off to find Felix, rip his arms off, and then beat Jacob to death with them.~

**Jasper was almost as hard to make fun of, as Carlisle and Charlie...What the hell am I talking about! Jasper and Alice were the hardest to do...simply because I crush on Ashley Greene (Alice), and my younger sister crushes HARD on Jackson Rathbone(Jasper)...and i have new scars and bruises for typing the Jasper chapter of WWWT...**

**New poll is up...and please give me more than 4 voters...**


	11. James

**Disclaimer: Not SM, Don't own Twilight.**

**Yes this is OOC of me, but I am writing a chapter not voted on by the reviewers. And for the people who's opinions I APPRECIATE, thank the following people for the extra chapter...I am doing this one to spite them.**

**ThebiggestTwilightfreakEver- You are sad.**

**Notafanofthemovie- Who cares you flamed me, so I will be ignoring the remainder of your reviews.**

**URFLAKY- I have a life, otherwise how would you be reading a story typed by me... Stupid. **

**Agreeing Person-You are even worse than the Twilight freak... all you say is Notafanofthemovie/Twilight Freak is right...pathetic. If you are going to flame someone, do it with some originality.**

**And really flaming someone anonymously is sad, use your account like a big boy.**

**Okay to the reviewers that do NOT have the intelligence to read a summary...I will say it again, but this time I will dumb it down for you.**

**This story is NOT a Twilight happy story, If you don't understand what Parody means Google it...I will not waste my time explaining to you about the subtleties of the English language.**

**This story shall not be stopped, no matter how much you people complain...and Thank you all by the way... Reviews make people take notice of stories so I will NOT be deleting your flames. I will leave them there so I get more readers. Thank you again.**

_James_

James is the daredevil of Twilight. He sees life as a game worth playing. Good perspective in real life, bad idea when facing disgusting sparkle-pyres known as the Cullens.

He has all of four scenes where he is on camera, and ¾ of them is him getting his rear handed to him, and running away from Emmett.

He gets his throat ripped out by Edward/R Pats. In the movie.

He looks like a cowboy...if there are cowboys reading and take offense...TOO BAD, you know it is true.

**Short chapter but sorry, if you guys want humor read the aforementioned reviewers reviews.**

**Next Chapter will be up next Wednesday.**


	12. Thank you's and Emmett

**Disclaimer:Well I am not SM, so that means I do not own Twilight.**

**Last time I thanked the people who flamed my story with their...comments...so...this time I will be thanking all of my REVIEWERS, not the annoying people who slander the good title of reviewer...so...here they are.**

**Team Jacob HA HA HA-thank you, you rock even more than I do.**

**Celebel Svit-Kona-don't worry we are both VERY messed up...I thought of it in a library...and laughed so hard I cried...so I...um...was politely asked to leave...yea that's it.**

**ThegerbilsareCOMING-your sense of humor is almost identical to mine...so...yay...for people who can find random things to laugh at daily.**

**michie756-well...i am glad you liked.**

**CandyCornXOXO-i agree with you there, the ending was stupid, and likewise I like the books...well some of them..(New Moon, and Eclipse)...and if anyone wonders why...well, Eclipse has a decent fight scene, and New Moon had a valid point...Bella trying to commit suicide multiple times was pretty funny to me.(yes I know she wasn't trying to kill herself...but look at it from a Bella hater's perspective...jumping off of cliffs = crazy)**

**Mittenz-I like your sense of humor too...yay for random humor people.**

**Themelodiousmeadow-You are so welcome, thank YOU for caring so much to review for this story.**

**Simply Laura-I am simply surprised at how many Twi-hards there are that actually LIKE my story. I thank you and the others right now, for at least trying to read my quote"well designed story"unquote.**

**Starfirewinx-I would personally murder my friend if they did that to me...and shockingly, on my parody stories, I TRY...albeit fail usually...to stick with as much fact as possible...some of the stuff is obviously opinions...but no author(because I can't find a better word to describe my self) is ever truly subjective.**

**VampGurl82-I never said I was gonna be nice about this story...but I am glad you liked it nonetheless.**

**Elise-sadly I cannot do more unless the pole is voted...my apologies...i will only do other chapters without a poll just to flame the flaming people...did that make sense? No...well...to make it easier, I will write extra chapters to spite the people who flame me.**

**Samira parsa-Yes, yes Kristin is HORRIBLE. I don't usually hate actors...but she just seems so ungrateful for everything she is getting in life...she dropped the award for Twilight, on the show...maybe if she could slow down on the meth intake she would be able to hold on to a three-pound trophy, and thank you for trying to keep me under control**

**Lil artist-i hope you made it to the bathroom in time...I did not think it was honestly that funny, but hey, we learn something new everyday.**

**Arya the Forensic one-You thought I forgot about you didn't you? Shame on you! You are the only person who has reviewed for every single story, even my "story" that is less words than the AN...you know the one...and to the other people reading Arya's thank you...no I am not saying the name, it would seem like I am promoting my stories at this semi-successful one's expense, which I will not do...where was I? Oh yeah...thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**As everyone has been named who has reviewed this awesome little face is for you...i picked it up on EarthEternal...which I really love...still...^_^**

Emmett

He waves knives at people during intense cooking...(where have I heard this before...oh yeah Freddy Kruger...oh and my mom...and no that is NOT a joke, she pointed a knife at my father on Christmas one year, he was recording her cooking, and she told him get the heck out of her kitchen.) *_and you thought your family was messed up._

He was easily the most entertaining character in ANY of the books...(just his bizarre reactions to everything made me laugh...a lot)

He was fighting a BEAR as a HUMAN...PLOT HOLE ALERT...Why the heck would a HUMAN try to fight a bear...she never mentioned that AT ALL.

Him and Felix would have been a VERY interesting fight to watch/read about...UBER VAMPIRE ATTACK.

How many times was Emmett not making a dirty joke/innuendo/or even suggesting a fight? The safe answer is...Every chapter he was NOT mentioned.

I loved the way Kellen Lutz played Emmett in Eclipse...he is HILARIOUS.

"Fall down again, Bella?" Emmett

"No, Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the face." Bella

"...Bad-ass." Emmett

I said this with Rosalie...but I don't think she will answer that for us...better try with the less hostile...yet scarier partner...HOW MANY HOUSES DID ROSALIE AND EMMETT SMASH?

Sorry for the caps...but it desperately needs answered.

**Well obviously this means Emmett won the poll...6 voters...a new record...WOOT!**

**All I have to say is I am glad that I don't have to vote on my own poll to make it look like people vote...I was honestly worried that I may have to do that if I was always stuck at 4 voters. So for that I thank the 6 voters...the only voter I know of is Arya, but that is because she tells me she votes...So thank you Arya and the other 5 voters...this face is exclusively for you ^_^**


	13. Renesmee

**Disclaimer: SM and I are not the same person...as far as I know, which means to the best of my knowledge I do NOT own The Twilight Saga...yet...**

**Thank you to the five voters...only names I know of are two of them...So thank you thegerbilsareCOMING and thank you Arya the Forensic one...and I have to ask...Really? For the very first time in my knowledge we had a Clean Sweep vote...five voters and every single one voted for the little monster...yes Renesmee is this chapter. Enjoy!**

_Renesmee Carlie Cullen_

The only thing original about Nessie is the name...nobody has ever used a name like Renesmee...so points for that SM...at least until the nickname came in...Nessie...FAIL! Creativity is welcome but Nessie? Really? Did writers block set in, or were you trying to be in Jacob's character? Which by the way you did great until the imprinting on Nessie crap...okay that rant is over...

Nessie is literally a walking Mary-Sue as soon as she is born...she learns so quickly, she is so beautiful, she can fit in with humans...sounds perfect right? Well perfect is a MAJOR Mary-Sue trait...Nahuel wasn't perfect...Nahuel was the exact opposite of "Nessie" he had major demons in his closet...which proves not all half vampires are perfect.

She gets forced into Mommy's leftover man...just so the Leah-Jacob hopefuls get pissed. (I am an intense believer that if the child came into play, Jacob still should have ended up with Leah...but that may just be me...)

She is a huge showoff...what quote is it? Oh yeah... _Pride goes before a fall_.~**not sure who owns...but I know it is not me. **If "Nessie" had not decided to show off in front of her mommy and future pet/husband, than all of BD's Volturi issue never would have happened...which would have at least not ended in a bunch of PO'd fans reading about the prelude to the fight that never was...again...WTF!

She was named after Bella's parents and Edward's "parents"...and Charlie is perfectly okay with demon spawn that quickly...(sorry off topic).

She becomes the normal vampires signet of worship...well the vampires that knew of the immortal children or were involved in it...(e.g. Tanya's coven)...I personally see Aro having a gifted volturi male...(e.g. Demetri, Afton(whatever the hell he does), or Alec) to use Gianna (the receptionist in New Moon) as an experiment, to see if they can create their own little demon baby spawn.

**Well that is all for Renesmee...two votes a piece...use them all if you want...and lets go for our six voters again...Please...**

**Don't read the below segment if you don't care for video games.**

**And come on guys Find out about Earth Eternal...play it a few days and you will understand why my updates are so sporadic (you guys are lucky they have Wednesday maintenance every week) if this paragraph convinced you to look for it...add these names to your friends list after you set it up.**

**Anna Darkclaw...she is my main character.**

**Alexander Redtail...he is just to keep a clan under control.**

**Alicia Nightprow...she is gonna be recreated soon.**

**Chase Marshweeper..he is my alternate character.**

**And if you are wondering about the names...well I named them after family members...excluding Redtail that is me. ^_^**

**These are all of my character's names...pm me (during the game) and I will help you with any questions you have...if I am not on...pm this person...it is my younger sister and she can probably help you too.**

**Nala Strongpaw**

**Sorry for promoting this game...but it is like a free World of Warcraft so...free as in still a REALLY good game...all you have to do is the free download...and you can play...and yes I am promoting this game a lot today because it is still in open beta...we are trying to get it out of beta and get it very well known.**

**Next chapter is up next Wednesday...bye guys I am going to a wedding!**


	14. Esme

**Disclaimer: Twilight is like a sandbox...well Stephanie Meyer owns the park that this exact sandbox is sitting in. I am just playing in it...at this precise moment I am sitting in that sandbox.**

**ok...if nobody understood that disclaimer...sorry, i am really, REALLY messed up today...so here is a normal disclaimer for those that were scratching thier heads and asking themselves what the heck is he talking about.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, I own profane shirts with rude sayings...there is no comparison.**

**Well...the infamous shout-out time, just kidding.**

**LinkinFreak92-I agree with you with ninty percent of the things you said...the only thing i disagree with is the adding new characters...my sister is writing a book, and that is the part she dreads...adding in new characters...call me a nerd for remembering this quote but..._Characters are made out of necessity, why create what you do not need? ~Christopher Paolini..._ Well glad you found my story...but...MAKE THE TIME TO READ! Sorry, just kidding. Wow...now i sound a little like a freak myself...-_-**

**Adri () -oh um...wow...well thank you for letting me know...and i would assume you are correct about the directors diversity issue she had.**

**Team Jacob HA HA HA-thank you again, as do you.**

**ThegerbilsareCOMING-I agree she did seem dumb, and thank you for voting.**

**Tasting Raindrops-no worries i am fairly reasonable (most of the time), and no you don't have to go back and review for every chapter, that would make me seem like a FF nazi or something. And no worries about the Jacob-Leah shipping i am obviously a supporter of...i respect the opinions of the polite people, and no you are not a Mary-Sue...why would you think that you are one if you stated your opinion, in a polite manner I might add?**

**Dragon Crystals-i am glad that i entertain you, but if you don't mind my asking what is a Twilight hater doing reading and writing Twilight fics...the irony. And i was a little discouraged but, their reviews were not signed in so i could not deal with them in an adult like manner, if they would have flamed me then i simply would have blocked their future reviews...but sadly i had to resort to public humiliation...**

**Manaphy-woot! Thanks for voting. But i will have an important message for everyone at the bottom of this chapter.**

**Too Lazy To Sign In-sorry...I thought it seemed sufficient. Well I will be trying to make it up to you from here out.**

**Samira Parsa- YAY! I have a friend in the Leah-Jacob pairing...just kidding, no worries rant all you want, I may laugh at some of the snide comments over Breaking Spawn...er Dawn sorry. Kellen was in Freddy Kruger? Really? Wow now i need to go watch all the Freddy movies. I am a guy by the way, most people will call me gay...simply because i am a guy that read The Twilight books...hope that cleared up the gender confusion. ^_^**

**Alexa573-Thank you for letting me know. I love all of my reviewers...but not all of them vote, it is a little ironic how you are the exact opposite, you vote and don't review...now don't take this as I want you to review, (which I do actually) but that was me merely making an observation...hmm that was such a convoluted sentance...let me retry, I am not forcing you to review, but I am glad that you voted for the poll...that sounds a little better.**

**Audrey Lee-KNasty...nice, and i do agree Breaking Dawn will be a complete FLOP. And thank you for noticing that Kstew as her fans (if she still has any) call her, that she looks like she has a MAJOR drug issue.**

**Twizzlerthesockmonkey- I am not mostly sane...that was offensive, just kidding ^_^ I prefer being random, if you keep life guessing instead of you...you can handle everything. Jacob eating Bella and Edward...hmm.. very cool but unfortunately would never happen...Bella was modeled after a young SM...so she never would have allowed herself to be eaten...dang.**

**Arya the Forensic one-there may not be a point...it is possibly going down this Friday, someone hacked SPM (SparkPlay Media) and drained their funds, but hopefully it will be bought soon.**

**And now it is time for the point of this update... Esme won the poll with six out of thirteen voters...wow we went from a clean sweep to an incredibly close poll...well here is the chapter.**

_Esme_

Well...how can I describe Esme...she seems like the Mary-Sue of mothers...(Does that make sense?) She is just so kind to her little sparkle-pyres, so loving, so accepting. She seems completely okay with murder...just as long as she is not involved in it...anyone wanna try this? Go walk up to your parent/guardian figure, and say "Hey_(person's name goes here), will you go and kill this guy/girl? He/she stole my girl/boyfriend and plans on hurting her/him. So will you help me go and kill them? (act shocked IF they say no...If they actually say yes, be worried. If they say no, then start screaming about how if Esme was your guardian, that she would do it just to keep you happy...(Run away in fake tears for increased effect.)

She is mostly there just so that Carlisle has a partner.

She is the ONLY Cullen stick figure. She just sort of stands there and hopes to do something.

She is just so overly welcoming that it would scare more people off then bring in...(in my eyes at least).

How do the town of forks, actually believe Esme is Jasper and Rosalie's Aunt? They look nothing alike...(while that is not always true in families...genetics are a mysterous thing) but in my family I look more like my uncles than I do my own Father..so...just confused there.

Esme looks a LOT like Renee and a LOT like SM, which brings me to my next point...Was Esme designed to be like the type of mother SM wants to be? I say that simply because Bella and Esme have the most SM-ish personalities. Almost as if they were based off of Stephanie's life and wants.

**If anyone is wondering no I am not going to poke fun at the suicide Esme commited after losing her child. That is the majority of Esme's story in the Twilight books...so this chapter could obviously have been better.**

**Well... the majority of our chapters have just been struck down guys, and no it is not from my flamers, and it is not because this is starting to bore me (I enjoy this very much). But the reason that this story will come to a close much quicker than I anticipated is because of the new movie _Vampires Suck, _this movie used a LOT of the plans I was going to use for my final three chapters (Edward, Bella, and Jacob), and if I still used them, if/when everyone sees the movie, my final chapters would merely seem like a copy of _Vampires Suck_'s "plot"...so I am going to be losing a lot of my poll options. This story, originally would have been around thirty chapters...now we will be lucky to get about twenty-ish...sorry guys, but I just don't want to set up a repeated plot line... so i am going to have a few more polls, but then we will hit the end of our story.**

**Our next poll is up...two votes again, next chapter up Wednesday.**


	15. Aro, Caius, and Marcus

**Disclaimer: Twilight is a sandbox, I am just the raccoon who takes a dump there.**

**Xx-dhru-xX- I used Vampire Diaries simply because I remembered that two men fought over her love as well...(younger sister read all the Night World and she disagrees with you).**

**Everyone who asked about Vampires Suck-Go ahead and see it, I already saw it...and it is a little hit-and-miss, but has very funny parts. And I will NOT hate you for going to watch it.**

**ThegerbilsareCOMING-yes, yes I do...laugh if you want but I DO own one twilight shirt, and yes you did name the shirt, (Real men DON'T sparkle). And for being the first voter...hmm...a cookie, or the smiley ^_^...your choice.**

**LadyofDreams2701- you make a valid point, they all do seem shallow if you think about it. And when I read your first review, I actually thought you were another Twi-hard who was gonna flame me, thank you for proving me wrong. ^_^**

**Themelodiousmeadow-now that I think about it, I agree...hmm to everyone else reading meadow's reply, go read her Esme chapter review...Please?**

**Lilbear831- here you go...here is a little more to entertain you.**

**samira parsa- well there was another one but, it was mostly just me being bored and not wanting to leave a boring Don't Own, Don't Sue. Hmm...the clique series...any good? (Just kidding)**

_Aro, Caius, and Marcus_

Well...this may be just me, but...did anyone get like a Godfather_*******Don't Own*******_ vibe from them in New Moon?

They are all as old as dirt, and can't do anything without ONE person...cough, Chelsea, cough. (to explain...Chelsea is a Volturi member who had the ability to make or break ties between people. Combined with Marcus being able to see the emotional ties...it made Chelsea priceless when Aro plotted his evil plans)

Marcus was nothing more than the infamous "other guy", he just seemed to be sitting on the outer rim with no real say in anything.

Marcus married Aro's sister..(which I believe Aro killed her...) and when she died...he was just perfectly calm about everything...i thought the loss of their partners was unforgivable? If it is so unforgivable then why was Marcus so perfectly calm after her loss? (although he does seem Dead Inside)*good song by skillet*****don't own*****

Aro practically follows the seven deadly sins...(lust, gluttony, envy, anger...etc) with every chapter he is in. He lusts after Alice's skills, envys anyone who has a gift that is not under his thumb, he is a power hungry monster (power-hungry=glutton...yeah I fit that in there somewhere). And obviously I could keep going, but for the sake of my sanity (or what is left of it) I will stop there.

Caius is more bloodthirsty than a southern coven new-born vampire. All he wants is to kill Irina, and the rest of the resistance vampires.(the Nessie protectors)

**Well short chapter yes...but my story is starting to dwindle down now...last few chapters...**

**New poll is up...but this time we have two votes for two DIFFERENT topics...since the poll will randomize the way it appears...this is what I mean.**

**Jacob, Bella, Edward**

**Bella, Edward, Jacob**

**Jacob, Edward, Bella**

**Bella, Jacob, Edward**

**Edward, Bella, Jacob**

**Edward, Jacob, Bella**

**now that poll is for how the ending will come...this next poll is the final voted target (next weeks topic)**

**Tanya's Coven**

**The Pack...the ones with dialect.**

**Kay, see you guys next week. School started today...-_-...(sad face)**


	16. The Flea trackers

**Me ~ No I won't do it.**

**Strange voice ~ You have too, it comes with the territory.**

**Me ~ Who the hell are you?**

**Strange voice ~ (shrugs) Your conscience. **

**Me ~ Whaddaya want?**

**Strange voice ~ You know what.**

**Me ~ No, I am not doing it.**

**Strange voice ~ Yes you are.**

**Me ~ Fine, if only to shut you up.**

**Strange voice ~ …**

**Disclaimer: I am Beta! Here me roar...quack!...obviously NOT SM...so onward now...**

_The Pack (with dialogue)_

_Quil_

Quil was crushing on Bella_(...hmm as an anonymous reviewer once said...Nuff said)_

Quil is the definition of the pack pedo...but we already know that...hmm NM, Quil goes for two-year-olds, there is one person creepier..._(one guess)_

SM did all the work for me with Quil actually. The much abused nanny sums up his immediate future fairly well...

_Embry_

Just noticing a little bias from SM...why was Embry the only one of the original six who never imprinted? (Sam, Jacob, Paul, Quil, and Jared) Was Embry not worthy of the little amount of affection shown to the pack?

He has less lines then SETH...who had almost no lines until BD.

Embry was the pack's definition of the outer rim...he never had anything important going for him, he just sort of sat there and was the whipped little boy... (sorry for ranting...but Embry was my least favorite pack member)

_Jared_

The only thing Jared really does is...make a bet on who would win a fight...and if Bella would blow chunks or not.

Jared's imprinting story is the only not-dramatic one...yet sorta copied _Midsummer Night's Dream __**DON'T OWN, **_he never looked twice at Kim, and then BOOM instant lurve... (yes I said LURVE not LOVE...leave it alone)

_Paul_

To the best of my knowledge, Paul had ZERO fans...and then he pulls the most genius move ever...imprints on the TRUE Alpha's older sister...(yes he can't control it...but still...a little convenient.

Paul needs anger management...desperately...

His only lines are to Jacob about rules, and Bella about keeping the vamp stench downwind...

_Sam_

he turns into the ultimate, _(...hmm...nicest word for bloodthirsty-tyrant...hmm...got it...) _HITLER._(no offense to Germany or her people)_

He is bipolar (like me) by BD...Bella broke him...(to his credit though, he lasted three books longer than I did), He claims peace (according to the treaty), then swears war upon the sparkle-pyres...then calls it off when Jake imprints on the creature who's name shall not be spoken.

**Well that is this chappie...next week Tanya and her coven of succubi, and Carmen and Eleazar.**


	17. Denali Coven

**Disclaimer: If I am not SM, and you aren't SM...and your phone is somewhere to the left of your computer...Then this must mean that I DON'T own The Twilight Saga.**

**K...to whoever asked about it...I believe it was thegerbilsareCOMING...Yes, I did go and see Vampires Suck...and it was a very hit-and-miss movie.**

**samira parsa- here is another really random disclaimer...it kinda made me laugh...and I wrote it, (points for me being pathetic...WOOT!)**

**Arya the Forensic one- you got it...Jake is the creepy pervert.**

…**.anyone I forgot( sorry my internet has been down for almost a month...i am just now getting around to typing these...on 9-21...and I will post them as soon as I can get it turned back on...which should be the day you are reading this...don't hate me...hate guacamole, and people who blame others for why they don't review...er...scratch that.)**

**Final one before the chapter...If anyone was disappointed with my last chapter (the pack), I only targeted the ORIGINAL six...I did not include Jacob because he has his own chapter dedicated to him...and...I forgot where I was going with this...ON WITH THE SHOW...er CHAPTER...er LINES THAT MAKE FUN OF SUCCESSFUL AUTHORS...there we go...**

_**The Denali Coven**_

First off...The Cullen family moves from small town to small town...and never stopped moving...and yet, Tanya and her coven, have NEVER left Denali...how has that not raised any suspicion? (Oh SM, you left out a little on that minor detail.)

Tanya tried to mount the somehow attractive Edward Sullen...er Cullen...(just watched Vampires Suck again...my sister...the NOT-A-Twi-hard (wink, wink) loves it somehow.)...obviously she has NO taste in prospective mates...(not that I can talk...I don't date men either, Tanya)

Tanya (in _Midnight Sun_ spoilers) was depressed when Edward would not kiss her on the lips...her words..."I have never been rejected before."...she then proceeds to think of all of her "conquests" in vivid detail...promiscuity is usually not a good thing...it is REALLY bad when you broadcast a certain _detailed_ image to someone who may or may not try and vomit later just to feel better.

Irina...well there is not much to say with Irina besides she...becomes partners with Laurant...goes and rats the Cullen's out for something that NEVER happened...and well gets flamed. (Literally.)

Kate...well she will probably kill Garrett...in the next ten years or so of the...nothing but passion-thing...I mean with her electric-shock-thing (that is strangely reminiscent of Jane and her evil-eye)...I am hoping that control over it is purely when she chooses...but in massive passion filled moments...would she lose control? (Bella lost control over her Rubber-Band shield thing...no reference here...just a comparison).

Well this was probably better suited to Jane's chappie...but... The powers (or gifts as Carlisle dubbed them,) are entirely based on a person's thought process...what was wrong with Kate mentally to be able to shock people just because she wanted to?

Carmen...well less was said about Carmen then Irina...all we know about her is that she really adores "Nessie"...she is with Eleazer...and she was the reason he left the Volturi...(yep nothin' here...sorry)

Eleazar left the Volturi after Carmen met him...but until that moment he went all around the world searching for epic-fighting-sparklepyres...so if people (or undead, or zombies, or sparklepyres...or cabbage) for example, were punished by the Volturi (or any other major force), by the amount of pain, deaths or "blood" on their hands so to speak...would Eleazar be the first to burn? He told Aro about all of the people who had the incredible gifts...so all of the deaths would be his fault...

**You guys would be completely justified if you hated me now...i would not blame you...but, on the up side...I DID post all four of the final chapters today(i added this part on 9-24)...(hoping for some forgiveness...*weak smile*)**

**I have to ask...what does that weird little button down there do?...do any of you readers know? If not, push it and then tell me what it does...If you do know, push it and explain why nobody ever used it. **-_-


	18. Bella

**Disclaimer: NOT SM...NOT THE OWNER OF TWILIGHT...OR ANY OF ITS PROPERTIES...I ALSO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH CAPS...AWKWARD...MOVING ON NOW!**

**Alrighty...the long awaited bashing of our nasty little main character...WOOT! Wow...I am cap crazy today...WOOPS...did it again...**

_Isabella Marie Swan-Cullen_

In BD (Breaking Dawn...you perverts...or at least my sister who is reading over this as I type it) Bella decided while on Isle Esme, that, (in the book quote) "Shaving my legs again might be a good idea"...Might I ask WHEN they were last shaved? Just a HORRIBLE thought.

Bella wants to defend Jacob...and yet...never cares enough to even be WILLING to date him...and then just heads over to his house and makes him hurt mentally...as if the physical injuries he sustained less then 23 pages back (in Eclipse by the way), from the Newborn attack (whether it was Leah's fault for the injury or not...true she charged in like a moron, but nothing would have happened had Bella never went to a stupid baseball game in the first place), What does that rant mean? Sports, vampires, and humans so clumsy they should be confined to a stretcher(which she was mostly) should NEVER mix.

Vampire-human relationships (outside of FOOD) seldom work...James for example tried to eat her...somehow she defied the odds...and got to watch James AND Victoria...and her little plaything Riley all get killed...two out of three times she was conscious and just watched...creepy little woman/vampire stalker/demon mother/HORRENDOUS actress/heart breaker/blood sucking woman...(hmm with that last bit she sounds like..._...(Fill in the blank please)...it still sounds like Bella...or Kstew...or one Angelina Jolie) (but that is a rant for another time)

Well...I can (and will) always find a new issue with Bella...but the worst one I still find...is the fact that she willingly risked her life, JUST to see visions (which she never even had...the director of _New Moon_ was TRASH for that point...all she did was hear the voice) of one Edward Cullen...cliff diving, learning to ride motorcycles (trying to do as much harm as possible to good old mother-earth when she hit the ground off of the first failed attempt)...and multiple other issues.

She changes her side more times than angry fan-girls...(Edward, "Not"Jacob, Edward, "Not"Jacob, Edward, (The wedding) Edward, "Not"Jacob...and yet dance with him more then customary...and then break the socially disturbed little wolf thing, even MORE, just because she doesn't want to let him go...now she is cruel, heartless and even MORE of a home-wrecker...

**I only had five for Bella...mostly because each of these I tried to think up on my own (I did NOT try and copy anything anyone else wrote/complained or talked about recently)**


	19. Edward

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, SM does...I don't own any songs mentioned in any of my previous chapters...I also do not own any shows that I made reference to earlier either...so NO you should not be able to sue me...so just smile and go along thanks.**

**Well, well, well, Edward is up next...enjoy if you want...if not apologies in advance.**

_Edward Anthony Mason-Cullen_

He admitted that he is a mass murderer..and yet conveniently no wires or anything...America's one chance to put one of the most deadly creatures behind bars (he could have broken out anyway but still) and Bella just LETS IT GO! Love or not that questions moral fiber doesn't it? And for that matter, if Edward is half as good as he allows Bella to believe, he should have turned himself in...(whether or not this is funny...just a question coming from the grand-child of a cop...) Why is Edward (a monster in every since of the word) doted upon by MILLIONS of fan-girls? Now not only is HIS mind messed up...but now we must question the ENTIRE Twilight fan base on why they had no problem with this...

Who the HELL decided that his middle name was ANTHONY...personally I have no issue with the name...but it was NEVER mentioned in ANY books...my sister just noticed it on the back of a Twilight friendly shirt...

Well after many nights of debating with a younger sister, (on what Edward truly is) we have reached a conclusion...Edward lives in the woods, shies away from human contact, and sparkles...Edward's not a vampire, he's a FAIRY.

How did Edward get his mother's wedding ring? Did he go grave robbing? Once again his morals are put to the test...once again his morals FAILED the test.

Edward told Bella that he inherited quite a few "baubles" like the ring...just HOW did he inherit ANYTHING? He died, and as a newborn he should NOT have been near any humans whatsoever, you really have to question what was going through the heads of whoever granted him his inheritance...(if he did not just return home and stole them from his old house)...now enjoy this little...probably pointless skit...

First Speaker ~ Hey Dan, wasn't that guy dead a few weeks ago? His face was all over the papers along with all the other victims...how did he come here and collect his inheritance?

Second Speaker (Dan) ~ Eh...I don't know... he just looked really creepy what with those red eyes of his...so I figured it would be better off if I just gave him what he wanted and he left.

First Speaker ~ He had red eyes? Should we maybe call somebody? Like the police or maybe the circus...I mean he sort of glowed when he left the building...

Dan ~ Why would we do that...it's not like he can do harm to any people...or crush some young girls spirit when he leaves her in about 80 years.

First Speaker ~ True.

**I thought the skit seemed appropriate...and if you guys are still curious why my chapters are a little...sucktacular...I have multiple things on my plate right now...this is the closest I have had to free time in a LONG time...I forgot how to react to a free moment...I sorta just sat there and wondered what I should do...no homework...no people calling me and wanting to talk...being out of work...thank GOD for being a temp...they lay you off when school gets serious.**


	20. Jacob

**First Speaker (from Edward's chapter) ~ Why on Earth did I not get a name?**

**Me ~ What?**

**First Speaker ~ Were you just being lazy?**

**Me ~ Whoa! I don't have to take this from you.**

**Speaker ~ Oh yes you do -**

**Me ~ Oh NO I DON'T...you good sir are nothing more than a figment of my imagination, designed to torment me and entertain my few readers who like this skit.**

**Speaker ~ Just name me and I will go away then...**

**Me ~ NO...*Imagines the speaker away* Ha you lose...**

**Speaker ~ Wrong...I am going nowhere until I get named.**

**Me ~ Fine...this is my final chapter anyways...(It is actually a sobering thought)**

**Speaker ~ I wanna be called The Illustrious One...**

**Me ~ How about Steve for short?**

**Speaker ~ NO! Steve sounds to tame for me.**

**Me ~ Steve, I just named you, time for you to go.**

**Speaker (Steve) ~ NOOOOOOOOOOOO~ *Fades into the nothingness that is the back of Beta's (my) mind.***

**Disclaimer: Don't Own...pweeze don't sue me... (yes I said _pweeze_ not _please, _laugh if you want...but...not much of a point)**

_Jacob Black_

Alright...this time I am gonna do something different...

I am NOT going to use the whole pedophile/bestiality thing with Jacob...mostly because everybody and their brother has used it...However, let's all take not of this: Jacob has been 'in love' with Bella for 3 and a half books. Suddenly out pops this mutant-sparkle-pyre thing that looks just like EDWARD (minus the eyes)...and BAM! Instant love. Does this make Jacob gay, or just plain creepy? Hmm...so many questions.

Jacob was definitely over confident about his skills...he talks...smack, for want of a better term...on Paul just because he won a fight...but when looking at Paul...who was a LOT like the kid that talks trash and then runs...is not much of a bragging right...

Jacob has poor taste in friends...and or pack brethren whether or not the latter is his choice is irrelevant...but his friends I am making fun of...One has no plot at ALL...just sits there...the other has issues with children...(for the record I said I would NOT make fun of Jacob with the pedophile thing...never said that Quil would be immune as well)

**Wow I now feel like an epic FAILURE...I only have three for Jacob...well besides the fact that it really WAS in Taylor Lautner's contract to have his shirt off every ten minutes of screen time...Vampires Suck did not joke about that...ironically.**

**For anyone who wonders what will be my next thing I do...I will mostly be working on Songfics now...and Arya...if you are still reading...I DID take down POTH...I just...have focus issues...I was excited to start an actual story...and yet I realized I have very little patience for a continuing plot...(i was shocked that I stuck to this one for as long as I did...it has been fun though I just usually have issues with focusing.**


End file.
